The Hottest Blog Ever or an Incensitive Eulogy

Current mood: guilty

My apologies for the tacky bulletin, but I just gotta get some feedback about my attempt to make light of the man who burned himself to death despite my efforts to extiguish him at my gas station.

As the members of Monty Python sang, "Always look on the bright side of death." I won't continue the lyrics. It seems redundant.

Sorry to dissolve any of you who felt a sense of relief, but obviously the insanity of Russ Staley wasn't resolved through partial hospitalization.

I gotta get out of this funk, so I that I can get back to wrestling. Imagine the angst I was in when I went to Hobby Lobby. The telling myself that I couldn't buy anything shiny to accessorize my alter ego.

I feel worse than Nicholson about the "All work and no play." It's like that but add "No beer and no TV make Homer go something something."

On the topic of going crazy, there aren't many jokes that can be made about a guy on fire. Trying to come up with an inciteful, comedic blog is as difficult as finding a satisfying end to a trilogy (Revenge of the Sith excluded).

When wholesome, antiviolense, no vulgarity Mom said she had more fun watching Hot Fuzz than Shrek the Third, I think you know where I'm coming from.

And come on. Topher Grace as venom? And if there is no wine for Thomas Haden Church, I'd rather save my dough for Merlot from a box.

My therapist accused me of ADD, but blame Family Guy. We allow Seth McFarlane jump in and out of stories. But, allow me to get this giant chicken of my back and get back to the story at hand.

Gas can: $5.99
Enough 87 octane to get the job done: $1.55
A memorable exit and a headline: Priceless

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.