Your beautiful and your god is an asshole

I am confused where to post this blog. Should be on this blog because I am attacking the fabric of the most hypocritical of society? Or should be on http://rohmobile.com because despite the flaws that almost make it as bad as "Pirate Radio," watching "Persepolis" fuels my discontent with the big guy.

Well I decided to post it on http://headtrip309.blogspot.com

Please check it out.

suck my left one...A Tribute to Teen Spirit

Finally a blog where I get to announce that
GREEN DAY AFTER INTERNATIONAL SUPER HITS SUCK!!!

Does anyone really see me making friends at a call center? Everyone who doesn't understand that the cog in the in a functioning machine doesn't get to tell the operator shit just seem to sensitive. The training class turned on me for being a true Cubs fan (which demands an abandonment of the Southside) and being a gentlemen.

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and determine if I am capable of writing/producing a no budget zombie/pro-wrestling movie.

Backseat Pussypires and Weretwats!

It is a somewhat difficult dilemma for me to critique ICC's Harbinger since they have been very accommodating to my works as the semester has gone on. If anything, it has been a great improvement over the first semester I wrote for them (Spring 2009). They now have an editor-in-chief with vision instead of one who was as much about her own promotion as she was about filling the eight pages with material, and the staff will go to the trouble of making sure everything works out for each publication.

Of course, I may just be miffed at my last couple opinion pieces being cut in half in the name of "The Battle of the Ink." In turn, I am down right pissed that my defense of New Mexico soccer standout Elizabeth Lambert questionable ply takes a backseat to a story about "Twilight."

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventOfTheDead.com and be the judge if my satire and criticism can be translated into a B-Movie comedy about Pro-Wrestling Zombies.

Caucasia, it isn't a country and it people can't be proud of it.

I received this bulletin a few days ago (I haven't checked my MySpace in a while), and was pretty offended by it's rant about how whites have a right to be racist.

Here's a sample:

- You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

- You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and even "The Man" and you think it's OK.

- But when I call you, "nigger", "Kike", "Towelhead", "Sand-nigger", "Camel Jockey", "Beaner" or "Chink" you call me a racist.

If you actually take these terms to heart, what the fuck is wrong with you? Overly sensitive assholes.

The fact of the matter is, no one should be calling any race by any term that they find offensive. Actually, if I call you something that really offends you (and it's not true, that's why I'll never back down from calling Alex Larson, NGW's promoter, a cowardly, lying asshole), tell me to never call you it again.

Read the rest of this blog and what is the inspiration behind my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead at MainEventoftheDead.com

A Middle Finger to Facebook

The impact of Google and Facebook make mass communication convenient, but I think leads to conformity and alienation.

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and determine if I am capable of writing/producing a no budget zombie/pro-wrestling movie.

Check out the ICCharbinger.com instead of PJstar.com

Because I get most my job hits on peoriahelpwanted.com anyway.

I can no longer save you the trip to ICC with my opinion pieces and movie reviews that get printed there. A bummer, because sometimes I feel it's easier to fulfill my, "well I at least blogged today" goal each day by cutting and pasting the original Word documents. With some of my movie reviews being poorly edited, I kind of took pride in "Save you a trip to a hill" movie reviews on Russ's Online Home - ROHmobile.com, but when I see that only three people have voted on the latest web poll at iccharbinger.com it leads me to believe that there is a need to promote the paper.

Read the rest of this blogs and most of my other blogs at MainEventoftheDead.com and see if this brain can write a B-Movie worth filming.

Dog Fighting for Early Childhood

Rose McGowan, who should be thanking me for getting her more followers (if 34,426 wasn't enough) was tweeting about hearing about an Illinois dog fighting ring that was being ran out of a day care center. It's great to know the Charmed girls are great information sources. @russthebus replied:

@rosemcgowan It was not a dogfighting ring. What happens when two kids in daycare argue about whose puppy for show and tell is coolest?5:26 PM Sep 23rd from web

With the state government cutting funding to early childhood programs, I wonder if this is truly a bad idea.

If we go along with the premise of the tweet, that it starts with two kids bringing in two dogs into class for show and tell, wouldn't we put the two dogs at it to just shut the kids up. It would get them prepared for the traumatic experiences they will face growing up. Who knows? I may have been better prepared for when I failed to save a man who set himself on fire if I saw something sick and twisted to begin with.

The world is unfairly cruel. Kids do not want to hear sad stories, so they are sheltered from the truth that bad stuff happens. This will teach them the lesson when their guard is down.

Check out the rest of this blog at "Main Event of the Dead.com and let me know if my satire and movie knowledge should produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie movie.

In other news:

Nitro Expected To Win Westminster Dog Fight

Opinions of the Twits. Kanye, Obama, Alyssa

If you look through all the blogs I've posted here, or looked at the label list on this blog, you maybe surprised that I follow actresses on Twitter.

...

Needless to say, you get a lot of self righteous garbage spouted by these girls. They are pretty good about not tweeting to make the "Twitter Tracker" segments of The Tonight Show, but they seemingly feel their opinions are more important than everyone else. The problem with this is they only get 140 characters, so they do not explain their opinion. It leaves their followers to think that because they say it, it must be right.

Alyssa Milano Stupid Tweet:

Ummm... Obama called Kanye a jackass because... Kanye is actually a jackass. No big whoop.10:55 PM Sep 14th from Tweetie

Read the conclusion of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and tell me if my opinionated nature can carry over into Pro-Wrestling and Zombie B-Movies. 

40 Years is Enough

Working at a gas station, you notice weird things. Kevin Smith, the second best screenwriter of the nineties, career was based on it. 

Working at a gas station in the Peoria area, the nation's test market (we get new stuff for three months, and have to wait 10 years for it's return) you see a lot of crappy products.

Today, Hershey's chocolate-flavored Bubble Yum.

I turn to my fellow associate to say, "This product won't sell. I hope they kill whoever came up with such a stupid idea in the name of natural selection."

After the disturbed chuckle of my coworker, I rethought my statement. It was not fair in terms of Darwinism.

"That guy shouldn't die. He should be commended for finding people dumb enough to fund it. The people who gave the product their approval should."

Makes me question which came first, the Nazis or Hitler? No Hitler, no War War through the efforts of dumb Germans. No dumb Germans, no Hitler. If that's not a shout out to my English pride, what is? I guess that's why the chicken or the egg is the universal, less offensive query. 

I for one feel that no one deserves to die, but the world is over populated. The herd needs to be thinned. Trying to stay humorous, I think back to Family Guy's episode where Brian tells his therapist about his Logan's Run dream. 

Read the conclusion of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and tell me if my opinionated nature can carry over into Pro-Wrestling and Zombie B-Movies. 

The Hottest Blog Ever or an Incensitive Eulogy

Current mood: guilty

My apologies for the tacky bulletin, but I just gotta get some feedback about my attempt to make light of the man who burned himself to death despite my efforts to extiguish him at my gas station.

As the members of Monty Python sang, "Always look on the bright side of death." I won't continue the lyrics. It seems redundant.

Sorry to dissolve any of you who felt a sense of relief, but obviously the insanity of Russ Staley wasn't resolved through partial hospitalization.

I gotta get out of this funk, so I that I can get back to wrestling. Imagine the angst I was in when I went to Hobby Lobby. The telling myself that I couldn't buy anything shiny to accessorize my alter ego.

I feel worse than Nicholson about the "All work and no play." It's like that but add "No beer and no TV make Homer go something something."

On the topic of going crazy, there aren't many jokes that can be made about a guy on fire. Trying to come up with an inciteful, comedic blog is as difficult as finding a satisfying end to a trilogy (Revenge of the Sith excluded).

When wholesome, antiviolense, no vulgarity Mom said she had more fun watching Hot Fuzz than Shrek the Third, I think you know where I'm coming from.

And come on. Topher Grace as venom? And if there is no wine for Thomas Haden Church, I'd rather save my dough for Merlot from a box.

My therapist accused me of ADD, but blame Family Guy. We allow Seth McFarlane jump in and out of stories. But, allow me to get this giant chicken of my back and get back to the story at hand.

Gas can: $5.99
Enough 87 octane to get the job done: $1.55
A memorable exit and a headline: Priceless

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Jesus Built My Wrestling Ring

Jesus was the first pro wrestler.

Jesus did not die for our sins because he knew he was coming back. He put up with a lot of pain to make everyone get emotional about what he represented. To compare him to anyone today, the most likely options would be Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, or the hardcore stars like Sabu, Mick Foley, or Terry Funk. If you book any of them against a promoter, the story they tell in their program would be no different that the Gospels. The Jews were the heels and Christ was the babyface.

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventOfTheDead.com and be the judge if my satire and criticism can be translated into a B-Movie comedy about Pro-Wrestling Zombies.

Zombie Colonel Sanders versus PETA

Current mood: creative

Sitting at the Long John Silver's/A&W drive thru, waiting for our chicken combos, my best friend pondered, "What's taking them so long?" To this I replied, "Maybe they forgot to kill the chicken before frying it."

What if you fried a live chicken? For whatever reason, the question sparked my curiosity.

With my distaste for lobster, it feels hypocritical to dive into this topic. Honestly, I don't like lobster (and red meat. Screw the surf, and fuck the turf), but I despise how it is prepared. While the lobster is alive, it is put in the boiling pot of water to be cooked. That's how you get a red lobster.

No matter what the Muppets or cartoons want you to believe, lobster are brown. Perhaps burgundy.
What's crueler than being boiled alive? Come on. Those so called crazies in the heart of civilization stopped the boiling in oil practice to their prisoners. Maybe it's the inability to learn from the experience. Now cutting off a hand, then they have something to think about and lots a time to think about it.

Couldn't we develop mini-shotguns to blow these arthropods' brains out? Is it possible to inject enough dope in them to prevent them from feeling the burn?

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

My Chris Benoit Blogs: Respect Eternal...An action is all he was?

Watching the tribute to Chris Benoit on Raw, I immediately felt the impact of Benoit's passing.
Jerry Lawler mentioned about the WWE and perhaps the wrestling community may be overlooking the loss of Nancy and Daniel. That this occurence shows how fleeting life is, and that we have to always remember our loved ones. After this said, thoughts of my late best friend floated into my head.

Stacia Hardin was a woman who was important as my family is. With the loss of Benoit's family, it only makes me realize how important our loved ones truly are.

Stacia was a heroine to me, and today I have lost another hero. A man who earned everything he got from the business through his heart and effort. Chris Benoit represented all the princibles that I idealisticly stay true to in my own wrestling career.

Chris Benoit, like it or not in terms of my own pedigree, is not a family member, but he was a hero, so I am feeling a lot like how I did when my greatest hero past.
...

My little sister loved to take the chance to tell me about WWE's oops in paying tribute to a murderer. With all the circumstances around Chris Benoit's death, Vince McMahon said there would be no mention of his name on TV. The dedication to those affected by this tragedy is proper, but to be told to forget about Benoit is wrong.

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Capitalistic Pissings or Who’s Your Toilet?

A popular re-post bulletin (MySpace) seems to be the, "Why must we piss and moan while Shaniqua/Bubba does not."

Well, I think that is a little more clever than THIS IS SO TRUE AND IS BULLSHIT or Fucking Sick. Sorry to pick on any posters out there, but most of these posters expect attempts for me to come up with some creative genius. As I said, this was an attempt.

Was my long-winded nature worth the attempt. Damn, I never thought my literate nature could be so punishing.

So, what I want to discuss is why the MySpace community seems to have taken a right wing approach to welfare abuse.

Hate to be the one to break this to Tom and his millions upon millions of friends, the people who are being discussed in these bulletins probably do not have the means to find out what we are saying. If they do, then they must be going to the public library.

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Honkee Hatin Haiku

Current mood: morose

I apologize if the word choice offends you. I was trying to show that obscenity towards others reflects poorly on my race. That we really are all the same, so why curse others. I am sorry that I got to use the words that fit the poem structure.

A moment of genius or I am the insensitive bastard that my Creative Writing instructor thinks I am?

Check out the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and let me know if my humor and movie knowledge can translate into a Pro-Wrestling Zombie comedy.

Bradgelina, Britney, and Your Kids: They need to earn their keep.

Current mood: productive

For all you parents who wake your kids up before they can have the American Dream:

Why don't you move to New York and rent out your infants to needy celebs. Just for premiers and stuff, so it would only be a one night a week gig.

Help some entertainers in custody battles. If they can take care of the "niece," why not Sean Preston?

Check out the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and let me know if my humor and movie knowledge can translate into a Pro-Wrestling Zombie comedy.

Gay Mariage or An example of my long winded nature

Just because I typed it up once for a friends assignment, and because I love to read my own work, here is a rant about gay marriage.

Same sex marriages should be legalized.

If a society is suppose to be tolerant of a subculture, then said society should allow them every way that is possible to express the love of two individuals of said culture. As long as no one is going to face physical or financial harm, what argument does anyone have against it.

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Boots are for snow. Not dumb bitches.

Current mood: tired (The Lost Details of Myspace)

"Don't sit there because there because of the vent, the air it blows makes it too cold."

No, this is not a commentary about the lack of adequate heating in state-funded college establishments. This is a commentary about snow boots as fashion.

Yes, I know when you think young coeds, you think fluffy. Maybe not, but fluffy is associated with cute, and college chicks are cute.

Perhaps cute isn't the right word. The barely legal damsels are usually hot. No, I think cute is the right word. With the knowledge most teenagers gain from high school, and the social discouragement of the female quest to become wise, the air-headed comments released from the second hole can either be pitiful, or responded with, "Oh..cute."

Out of curiosity girls, what is the orifice order?

So fluffy equals cute.

Now that that is established, it seems that more than just for these young women wear fluffy winter boots. Except that they wear them when it's forty degrees out.

Check out the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and let me know if my humor and movie knowledge can translate into a Pro-Wrestling Zombie comedy.

Smoke on this Illinois

To call me a cynic would be redundant. With that being my nature, I'm indeed skeptical about the health risk of second hand smoke.

The smog clouds in LA and Mexico City are not caused by people lighting up tobacco products. It is from industrial pollution, motor vehicles, and quite possibly the Mexican community lighting their farts.

Hey, if I was part of the Hispanic race which is associated with excessive flatulence, I know that's what I'd be doing. That's what I'd think about so called patriots and their illegal border patrol.

Of course, the Lady Liberty only wants the hungry, weak, and huddled masses. She says nothing about the gassy.

Discussing farts brings me to the main point of my argument. I have yet to see a cigarette set off a Carbon Monoxide monitor.

On two separate occasions, after eating two pounds of Gardner's mild wings, my brother's unconscious farting set off our house's CO detector. He may have been twelve years-old at the time.

Until I heard the beeps, I was in a deep sleep of rare occurrence. Perhaps the fumes were consuming me. My brother did not wake to the noise, so he may have been near death. If it was not for me rushing to our bedroom door to release the gas, it may have resulted in his demise. I cannot help but wonder what kind of danger we would have faced if he had a tongue for spicier foods.

Now that we established that cigarettes are truly only dangerous to the user, why must we have a smoke-free Illinois?

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Gambling, Vegen, spokes persons. One weird Super Bowl (42)

You hear the weirdest stuff when you work at a truck stop.

"Hope the Pats win. Not because I got a team in the game, my father-in-law has a bet. If the Pats win, he gets a hundred bucks. Lose, and he has to go into the super market dressed as a woman."

The guy walks away from the desk, and I turn and ask my coworker what kind of idiot takes that bet.
"If it's a small town, being dressed as a woman would probably be embarrassing." Pause for a second, a gentleman (I say that because my coworker claimed he was trying to solicit the help) walked to up to the desk with an Arby's sack. I'm sure you've all seen it, unless you are one of those spineless vegans.

Look, it ain't livin' unless something has suffered for your nourishment. I say nourishment, not decadence. No breathing entity should die in the name of gluttony. Pride is mine to claim because nothing suffered for my Caramel Apple Empinadas.

Be sympathetic to the cows? Come on. All female mammals who have given birth inevitably get sore nipples.

Great. Now I can't help myself. I must get on the equality soap box.

Dare I claim (dare, dare), to understand women because I have my nipples pierced? It's the closest any guy can get to the pain of lactating (next to doing a lot of steroids and having testicular cancer, see "Fight Club"). Embrace the nipple and tame the vegan. Now with that said, let us return to the idiocy of the person who took that bet.

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Monday, 10/27/2008 ---- What’s with white pride?

Current mood:  restless

"Whose bright idea was it to change the logo of Peoria? It's fitting right now."

Fitting right now? What is it suppose to represent? The cultural genocide many paranoid Americans want to see repeated on the Islamic world?

Is it not enough that White Americans took away their land and kept their names? They must have their image too?

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Just give me the law degree.

Hopefully, my anger at these ridiculous ads by the State of IL will lead me to rant on about more thinks that piss me off. It's kind of my thing.

If you live Illinois (or for those depending on Moline for your local television...one of the mockings of Iowa I'd been holding back on), you have probably seen or heard the "Loser DUI" ads. I'm not overly pissed at the TV ads because, I cannot piss on the art of implication, but this sound bite from the radio ad makes me want to scream for the ACLU to do something about it..

"If you get a DUI, you might as well have a big tattoo of the word loser on your forehead...We can't hire that loser.".

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

ACDC, Stop Making Capitalist Look Bad.

Current mood: animated

I'm sorry AC/DC hasn't been good since the soundtrack to Maximum Overdrive, and that's being very generous. They should be locked out of the studio for allowing that Stephen King to be considered relevant.

Angus, it's great to know you guys can still rock, but your selling your CD through an evil conglomerate (Walmart). These CDs do not offer new music. And Brian ain't Bon. There has got to be an intervention from the government to stop you from making every album sound the same.

Yes, they all sound like AC/DC, but they are identical. Identical...let's see...nontuplets you bore to brainwash immature fans over the past twenty years.

These immature fans encourage that twat in the morning on 105.7 the X material for his morning shows, and a poor excuse for Jim Ardis to shows he's hip. Don't you care about the fans that Matty B is Xploiting for bumpers, and more importantly attention for his untalented ass?

"They shot the cannon when they weren't suppose to, and got banned for it. But they've matured."

If that is not a reason to keep AC/DC out of the Tri Counties, I don't know what is. Matured? They were 40 when they did that stunt. Do you think senility changes overtime? They were senile then, so they're still senile.

Read the rest of the review at MainEventoftheDead.com and let me know if my humor, satire and movie knowledge can translate into a B-Movie comedy about zombies and pro-wrestling.

What the French Revolution taught us, and how it applies to the Hiltons

Let's face it, reality sucks.

We have people turning down second dates for $40. Are these "Nexters" telling me the dater is going to suddenly become cheap because MTV is not footing the bill? I hope the dater signed on knowing they better step up.

It would also be much better reality if we did not find it necessary to house train the most evil representations of femininity by those who cannot stop their dogs from defecating all over their houses and decrepit rock stars.

This reality allows Presidents who can get away with perjury while Lil' Kim gets time. It is a reality where saying, "bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran," is taken way too seriously.

Worst of all is the fact we have banks to rescue while decadent aristocracies can still stand. If we want to bail out our economy and end the bull shits that are the Gotties, Kardashians, and Hiltons, we must vote for Barrack Obama. This is our chance to dabble into a workable socialism. One that seemed to be a great success during the Fren...I mean Freedom revolution.

Let it be known Paris, you won't just earn yourself a new esteemless cling on forever, but now a new BMF to contend with. He is RUSS: OF THE MANY LAST NAMES (Si is my latest Chinese one, thank you Illinois Central College).

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Gayest Blog Ever

Current mood: depressed

Let's see. I don't want to bug my readers by posting my latest, "Wish Cindy's cat would smother me in my sleep" journal, so let me finally present the world with the gayest blog ever.

I am not saying that I will not post that fatality by feline fantasy (I kinda got an Ezra Pound like love for my work), so please say a prayer for something positive to inspire me in the next week.

"I was going to call it Peterland, but the gay bar by the airport already took it," Peter Griffin, President of Petoria.

Seth McFarland showed me how far behind Peoria is with the times. Peoria lacks a great gay bar.
No offense to Diesel...Visions...whatever that place on main with the rainbow flag is called, but all P-Town has is a techno bar, and a convenient place for free condoms.


Read the rest of the review at MainEventoftheDead.com and let me know if my humor, satire and movie knowledge can translate into a B-Movie comedy about zombies and pro-wrestling.

Root root root for the Cubbies you Northsiders

If you don't live in Chicago, it's easier to pick up the differences between those who represent downstate and those who represent the state.

Back in 2007, during spring training, a waitress at Richard's in Peoria spoke of the injury to Mark Prior and an injury obtained by Kerry Wood when he slipped getting out of a hot tub.

"We have nothing but Chinadolls in our rotation."

I replied with, "so you go to Bradley and are from Chicago."

"How'd you know?"

Because, and I hope it's not just me, we want to speak optimistically of our team downstate instead of bad mouthing our representatives be it playoff dud Soriano, the Dempster whom I wanted to shank in 2006, or the nip whose bat shut down after the all star break.

After going to game two of the NLDS, my "well, they're just Chicagoans" changed to "what is your problem?"

My observations:

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Brett Michaels: My War for Our Taste

Current mood: argumentative

So Poison is coming back to Peoria (2008). The same Poison with the same attention whore as their front man. The same Poison that had established themselves as my generation's Monkee's.

We all loved "Cheer Up Sleepy Gene" and "Look What the Cat Dragged In," but we don't need to see Peter, Mike, Dave, and the ugly one visiting Peoria every year.

And Axel Rose has given us so much that is far more uplifting than "Something to Believe In" or "Every Rose...is screwing the opener's frontman." One day, my prayers will be answered for the True Chinese Democracy...won't they David Geffen?

I saw Poison in 2001. This is where I came to the realization of how unfortunate it was for metal when they were established.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Renaming the Friday after Turkey Day or Screw them Smurfs

Current mood:  bitchy

I ask you, am I overly influenced by Kevin Smith's material? The psycho ex girlfriend would say no since I had not got around to reading the diary of his she bought me (in my defense, it is called "My Boring Ass Life"). Stef would say, "surprised you did not ask anyone to have sex with the corpse of Mr. Crispy," since that is the only box left unchecked on the list of what events have happened at both the Morton Travel Center and the Quick Stop.

Regardless of how much influence the Jersey boy has, Kevin Smith's latest film left me pondering something. A side from what happened in the four minutes I missed due to a flawed reel change.

With the election of Obama, should we still call Black Friday...Black Friday? Or is Obama not black enough to encourage such change?

In this politically correct world, some would say it's okay since it is not called Porch Monkey Friday (god I don't want to envision what dumb white people would do to celebrate it...it sounds like a good excuse for some fried ch...), but people do associate themselves with a color.

We know that to be true since whites do not want to be referred to as caucs. So if we are going to associate colors to negative days (discounts do not make the horrors positive), lets find one that a race does not take pride in their skin tone.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

My war against those with evil fingers.

Over the past month and a half, I've been trying to attack the ignorant masses that seem to dominate Peoria newspapers' opinion pages. Check out the You Page section at pjstar.com to see what I'm talking about. The following blog is one my efforts to add some sense to my hometown puppy trainer.

UAW and the Auto Bail Out

UAW members in Detroit deserve to make $75 per hour. They also said they would do away with the job bank to keep the automakers afloat. Living in Detroit cost a lot more than it does to live in Peoria, let alone surviving. The city has been nicknamed the Murder City. Protecting yourself will add to the COLA. With this being said, we should demand that wages be increased in East St. Louis. Either that

or fine up standing tax payers pay for their Kevlar accessories.

Read the rest of this blog at Main Event of the Dead dot Com and determine if my experiences, satires and movie knowledge makes a great base to produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-Movie.

Politically Insensitive Peorian Tight Asses

Current mood: awake

Because Peoria news probably won't publish it, I'm posting it. And I think this one actually has an adequate amount of wit to it.

Whoever edits the "You Said It," section of the You Page must enjoy making Peorians look bad. If not that, he or she wants PJStar's readers to think that the newspaper is meant to only support their ignorant opinions instead of presenting opinions they may not like to hear.

I appreciate an editor being afraid of a backlash from the apparent majority, but to only publish their opinions makes all the bright citizens of the HOI ashamed of our representation. Please, please, please, make Peoria look smarter.

If someone can prove how an Indian's profile is symbolic to the Land of Lincoln, feel free to print it, but if they do not provide you with proof that Lincoln fought a Chief Illiniwek to the death, do not suggest that Abe wants Peoria to be represented by an offensive graphic no matter how cool the graphic looks.

Read the rest of the review at MainEventoftheDead.com and let me know if my humor, satire and movie knowledge can translate into a B-Movie comedy about zombies and pro-wrestling.

The Rise of the Machines or Rollerball 75

Current mood:  exanimate
Category: Life

I think back to my blog "40 Years is Enough," and realize that our society is in a lot of trouble. Not because of overpopulation and stupidity...well, perhaps stupidity, but economic conditions that will lead to our demise. A Harvey Dent coin which only offers a Joker pencil result.

And this all came to be when I saw that "Hubba Bubba" now owns "Squeeze Pop."

BubbleYum's "Hershey Chocolate Flavored Gum." Circle K taking over Peoria thus destroying the whimsy of "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". AC/DC and Walmart making us wonder why we just don't lock certain people out of recording studios.

Hoopastank has a top 30 track? Trapt is coming back? Curse 105.7 the X yet again.

If LA Loyd doesn't have anything good to say, then tell Anna not to air the Rock 30 (especially when Wes of Puddle of Mud thinks he has something worthwhile to say). When Saturday is over, she probably wants to sleep in anyway after getting drunk enough to settle on guys that wear Rivermen jerseys instead of actual Rivermen players.

Peoria Radio, another example of creepy corporations. How often do they choose to change 98.5's format?

Mix to Oldies.
Oldies to Party.
Party to music devoted to those weird people with fish on their car trunks.
Christian to Ghetto.

It's not a good example of capitalism if it is promoting the fundamentally wrong, or it as confused as those who try to leave their niche like most fast food places. How far away are we from Red Lobster/Steak 'n Shakes?

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

12/25/2008 The Last Gas Station Christmas EVER

Perhaps it is my discontent towards the job. The extra long holiday shift and the double to follow it in 18 hours. The anxiety of wondering how much more abuse they'll lay on me before I devote the majority of my time to drinking and studying.

Whatever element or elements mentioned above, throw in the decadent customers, and for the first time, I feel the emotion of jealousy towards those who have Christmas off.

Out of principle, I would not mind working the holiday or any religious holiday for that matter. No, I did not sell God out for time and a half, but religious events should not justify a commercial shut down.

With that being said, I assume you understand my feeling towards Hobby Lobby, so I will not go into my rant that they close on Sundays because right wing Christians feel that they have to limit the days that we can truly be creative thus lessening independent thought and our Jewish friends from converting us.

All I have to say about Hobby Lobby is that Sunday was always my day off (work five days, wrestle Saturday), why must I be left feeling like the speaker of an Anne Plath poem because of it.

To protest the Hobby Lobbyists, I stood behind the fuel desk pleasantly on December 25, 2008, and treated the customers to the most courteous service I could offer. Sadly, this day was also the first day the shopping baskets at Super Pantry ever saw any use.

And I decided that if I was to run out of ink writing this blog, I will drag the next customer over the counter, slice off the top of their index finger, and deliver this Pulitzer hopeful in blood.

Gas stations need to be open on Christmas for four reasons: Gas, Smokes, Newspapers, and Batteries.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Flag Burning for Good Taste

Current mood:  Accomplished

The sweet aroma of desperation like that of a foul fruit seems to be a proper scent for Mayor Jim Ardis and Regent Broadcasting. Perhaps it is not their aroma, but the stench from an entire crate of the rotten ovaries they might be carrying.

I am discussing the further efforts to bring AC/DC to Peoria. Is it too late to scare the right wing with the gay name theory?

That probably would not work since it is the god-fearing, mullet-sporting, Pekin Walmart-shopping red necks who think a Desert Eagle was made for possum hunting. Beyond these folks and aging pro wrestlers, who else would go to an AC/DC rally?

Why must it be AC/DC? Is it for the old guys who listen to 105.7 the X in the morning in an effort to be hip before they change the station to catch the Bob and Tom rewind? Is that what makes them the only noise to stench up the two largest towers in Peoria?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Tweets from Violence/Exploitation to Greeting Cards

Current mood: annoyed

Category: Blogging

Does it count as writing something new each day if I rely on re-posting some of my more clever tweets? Judging that I got to go through a month and half of my personal package, I think so.

Please save me from doing these blogs by following me on twitter @russthebus or rohphone.com

Now that I think about it, I'll go through my tweets until I see something worth elaboring on. See. The creative process is still there.

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They gotta broaden the find people search engine. Can't be an activist if people need to find your real name. 1:03 AM May 15th from web

At the WWE show in Bloomington on May 16:
To the blonde cunt standing on a chair with her camera: if your pic was that important, u'd be on the other side of the rail. We cant c shit 10:18 PM May 16th from txt

Do women who do Turbo Jam or Tae Bo realize that if they also want to defend themselves, they need to take self defense classes? 12:08 AM May 17th from web

@ChanceRush Woman are common victims. It's an unfair double standard, but guys just aren't as rape-able. 2:49 PM May 17th from web

@ChanceRush Now maybe nerds could use self defense courses too, but do you really see the common geek taking Tae Bo? 2:50 PM May 17th from web

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Perhaps there are a lot of directions I could take in my "Stop Billy Blanks from Taking Your Money" argument. One direction could actually be expanded to anybody who thinks they are tough because they have taken lessons in ass kicking. If I take that route, it prevents people from thinking that I'm just picking on weak women who feel empowered because they know how to make a punching like motion.

Of course, this argument does point me in the direction of picking on noncombat veterans. You know, the only people who didn't have to die to earn a holiday. St. Valentine and Patrick met with ill intentions, so they were maters of the greeting card industry.

Fathers and Mothers Day, well mom made the nine month sacrifice and dad had to put up with her during the sacrifice. If they didn't get a holiday, they'd be putting us through an immeasurable amount of excrement in order to make us feel guilty for being their burdens. For me that's overly redundant. I can make myself feel excessive guilt on my own thank you.

The vets volunteered to be treated like slaves. I say slaves because it seems that during basic, you are at least recognized as people...worthless, inferior people. Again, they volunteered for that. So for feeling like that, I can't say they deserve to shut the banks and post offices down for a day in November, but maybe they need a month to be recognized for their struggles.

As I think a little bit more about it, they guys may only deserve a week. They are more important than red ribbons, but they did suffer as much as a minority.

So do we want to leave this on Holidays or do we want to continue with "So you think your so tough". Since I can piss on poser professional wrestlers (Alex, Andy, Lawrence). I'll go take this route.

No, I better stop here before I go on another rant. I might as well keep the loyal readers salivating for more incite. But maybe a few more pointless tweets.

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Essential John Carpenter: Halloween, Escape from NY, The Thing, Big Trouble in Lil' China, and They Live8:20 PM May 18th from txt

I guess I should add Escape from LA since I own six Scorcese essentials8:21 PM May 18th from txt

Isn't Crashing into the Hudson Putting Passengers in Deeper Shit?

Current mood:  argumentative

Is it distasteful to call the pilot of the plane that crashed into the Hudson a hack? When most crashes are investigated, the error is usually not mechanical, it is the pilot at fault.

Don't sell me the bird(s) in the engine theory. Bruce Willis put a big black guy through a jet engine in the second "Die Hard", and that plane took off with no mechanical trouble. It took a "Yippi Kai Yay Motherfucker" to put that jet to rest.

It is good, sorry...great that he was able to land the plane. That is until the contamination law suits start pouring in (it is not like he crashed in to Perrier Lake), but does that make him a hero?

If I was able to recover my car after sliding on black ice thus not ending up in a ditch, the other people in the car would give me a slap to face straight out of "Every Which Way But Loose" and declare in unison that I was a dumb ass or I'd hear, "you didn't see the ice?" It is certain that if the car ends up in the ditch, they'd do the same to me.

For me to walk out of an accident like that with praise: the car would have to roll a couple of time, end up right side up, and I'd have to be able to hit the gas and jerk the vehicle out of the way of oncoming traffic.

Isn't that all this incident was? He landed in a river instead of burning up in Central Park. To hell with investigating the incident, this lucky son of a bitch should have more brain trauma than the panicky chick in "Airplane".

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

It's FUBAR not FUBU

I could have just copied and pasted my review for "Slumdog Millionaire", but I'd rather save that in case the Illinois Central College newspaper doesn't print it. For entertainment sake, I'll wait to see if I get to destroy The Harbinger over their disrespect towards fine writing and Hindi actors.

The suggestion of mocking Aretha Franklyn's hat at the inauguration was interesting, but it almost seems redundant to state how most black fashion is closer to FUBAR than FUBU. Of course, in an effort to stay fair and balanced, I got to defend this statement.

At least white people stopped with Tie-Dye.  Honkees also care enough to pay for the licenses to pro sport teams.  Montages of city names in letter jacket patch format with sport balls just seems tacky.

For a Cubs fan, it is embarrassing to see the Afrocentric knock off gear. The Cubby Bear look-a-likes seem to have came straight out of Hanna Babbeara's Special Laffalympics.

Horrid fashion statement shows that I can restrain my violent urges. When I saw a guy with a Cubs away cap with a straight bill, size sticker on the top of the bill, and worn to the side, I was able to prevent myself from killing the guy.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Suicide would mean I'd bitch less

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Current mood: distraught

This started as my blog of "Why I'd like Peoria to be more like Detroit?" but from looking over the draft, I found a point where I go off course to be quite fitting for when it comes to my recent unfair, state of unemployment, and further realization of how hopeless I really am.

I wish I was suicidal so that, so my bitching may end.

The excuse for breathing right now: I made it to difficult to off myself. The regret of tattooing my wrist, so I can't slit em'. Pills never seem to work for my friends, and I don't dare dial any dealer numbers.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

A Possible Cause for My Lack of Intellectual Activity

Current mood: angsty

I've recently deprived my yearning to entertain the community. With the thoughts that I had a rekindled wrestling career proven false, what is the point of pursuing other creative outlets?

That sounds better than my not keeping up with my blogs because I don't want to make the trips to Target to refill my anti anxiety meds. Not because of the cost of the pills. But because they always have some kind of special on Pokemon cards or DVDs...or hair products. I just can't afford to allow myself to act out of impulse while on unemployment.

And the inability to act impulsively has sent my alcohol tolerance to great lows. It's a struggle knowing that I can no longer finish a fifth by 4 am, and still be ready to handle the pains of existence regardless of the hangover.

So I guess, I often find myself in the position of choosing between my identity and my sanity. All of this stems from being a slave to a conglomerate. So DOWN WITH TARGET.

Sadly, I have to retract that statement after opening the offer for $30 in gift cards. And where else can I go for reasonably priced meds? Is it a conspiracy between What-Ever-The-Fuck-Mart and the psychiatrists to keep us ill, or should I just take another Ativan and Trazadone cocktail and stop worrying?

Back to saving the steroid business

I got a lot of deadlines coming up. It almost seems like I an actual writer. But to make sure I'm not backed up on my goal to keep the employed and for those who do not want to deal with an article asking "Who are the best looking people on The Hill?" from going to an Illinois Central College campus to pick up the Harbinger.

Actually, do they place them at Downtown, South, or the North campuses? To be a college patriot, do you have to truly know all of your campuses? On that note, fuck Chief Illiniwek. I am sure UIC or UIS would gladly share their mascots.

Here is my call for respect of the great heroes of the negatively viewed steroid era. I'd put up my "Choke" movie review I wrote for the paper, but I like the sloppy version posted on the blog last October.

Are steroids really a big deal in
baseball?

Steroid users have been accused of quite a bit of cheating. They are accused of cheating out their fellow players by lessening demand for clean players, cheating the fans and the integrity of the game. But are these accusations fair or the lies of the bitter?

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

America Keeps...

Current mood: argumentative

Who to be pissed off at today? America's Got Talent? The "Circus Girls" act I caught as I was trying to set up my Wii Motion Plus left me a bit upset.
Are contortionists talented...yes, but if you were Vegas talented, you should be representing the US team in London in three years. It's called Rhythmic Gymnastics. What? You can't stay that flexible for another three years?

Hell, those girls are just messing up Title 9 for us guys. Illinois State University which I would rather have wasted my education than attend (it's tough enough considering reapplying at U of I since the straight A, wrestling team captain who made sure the Illini's eventual washout tackle passed computer programming was turned down), could reinstate their folk-style wrestling program if women would rather have an education than fame. From the perspective of those observing me over the past nine (going on 10) years, they'll tell you that the quest for fame and fortune just isn't a good move.

Especially when either a producer or the Hoff is going to encourage you to take short cuts to fame.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

America's got...

Current mood: pissed off
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

What America's got is me pissed off. I can't believe this is how I get my freedom to blog tonight. My older sister, who wouldn't watch American Idol when our cousin was in the top 12 is watching America's Got Talent.

I'm not trying to make myself look good or my older sister look bad. I didn't tune in to Idol when my cousin was on it. That was the third season, the one between Underwood and Studdard. The person who won, well I don't listen to crossover music I guess. As does everyone else since they can't remember him when I tell them my cousin "was the kid who looked like Conan."

That in itself is something America's got me pissed off about. William Hung fever wears off, so damn those who worked their ass off to be sell outs to that exploitative limey son of a bitch. I did at least listened to John Stevens album of covers. Dare I say I'm an ideal American for supporting a family member that I hadn't spoken to...probably ever.


Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.
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