Flag Burning for Good Taste

Current mood:  Accomplished

The sweet aroma of desperation like that of a foul fruit seems to be a proper scent for Mayor Jim Ardis and Regent Broadcasting. Perhaps it is not their aroma, but the stench from an entire crate of the rotten ovaries they might be carrying.

I am discussing the further efforts to bring AC/DC to Peoria. Is it too late to scare the right wing with the gay name theory?

That probably would not work since it is the god-fearing, mullet-sporting, Pekin Walmart-shopping red necks who think a Desert Eagle was made for possum hunting. Beyond these folks and aging pro wrestlers, who else would go to an AC/DC rally?

Why must it be AC/DC? Is it for the old guys who listen to 105.7 the X in the morning in an effort to be hip before they change the station to catch the Bob and Tom rewind? Is that what makes them the only noise to stench up the two largest towers in Peoria?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Tweets from Violence/Exploitation to Greeting Cards

Current mood: annoyed

Category: Blogging

Does it count as writing something new each day if I rely on re-posting some of my more clever tweets? Judging that I got to go through a month and half of my personal package, I think so.

Please save me from doing these blogs by following me on twitter @russthebus or rohphone.com

Now that I think about it, I'll go through my tweets until I see something worth elaboring on. See. The creative process is still there.

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They gotta broaden the find people search engine. Can't be an activist if people need to find your real name. 1:03 AM May 15th from web

At the WWE show in Bloomington on May 16:
To the blonde cunt standing on a chair with her camera: if your pic was that important, u'd be on the other side of the rail. We cant c shit 10:18 PM May 16th from txt

Do women who do Turbo Jam or Tae Bo realize that if they also want to defend themselves, they need to take self defense classes? 12:08 AM May 17th from web

@ChanceRush Woman are common victims. It's an unfair double standard, but guys just aren't as rape-able. 2:49 PM May 17th from web

@ChanceRush Now maybe nerds could use self defense courses too, but do you really see the common geek taking Tae Bo? 2:50 PM May 17th from web

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Perhaps there are a lot of directions I could take in my "Stop Billy Blanks from Taking Your Money" argument. One direction could actually be expanded to anybody who thinks they are tough because they have taken lessons in ass kicking. If I take that route, it prevents people from thinking that I'm just picking on weak women who feel empowered because they know how to make a punching like motion.

Of course, this argument does point me in the direction of picking on noncombat veterans. You know, the only people who didn't have to die to earn a holiday. St. Valentine and Patrick met with ill intentions, so they were maters of the greeting card industry.

Fathers and Mothers Day, well mom made the nine month sacrifice and dad had to put up with her during the sacrifice. If they didn't get a holiday, they'd be putting us through an immeasurable amount of excrement in order to make us feel guilty for being their burdens. For me that's overly redundant. I can make myself feel excessive guilt on my own thank you.

The vets volunteered to be treated like slaves. I say slaves because it seems that during basic, you are at least recognized as people...worthless, inferior people. Again, they volunteered for that. So for feeling like that, I can't say they deserve to shut the banks and post offices down for a day in November, but maybe they need a month to be recognized for their struggles.

As I think a little bit more about it, they guys may only deserve a week. They are more important than red ribbons, but they did suffer as much as a minority.

So do we want to leave this on Holidays or do we want to continue with "So you think your so tough". Since I can piss on poser professional wrestlers (Alex, Andy, Lawrence). I'll go take this route.

No, I better stop here before I go on another rant. I might as well keep the loyal readers salivating for more incite. But maybe a few more pointless tweets.

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Essential John Carpenter: Halloween, Escape from NY, The Thing, Big Trouble in Lil' China, and They Live8:20 PM May 18th from txt

I guess I should add Escape from LA since I own six Scorcese essentials8:21 PM May 18th from txt

Isn't Crashing into the Hudson Putting Passengers in Deeper Shit?

Current mood:  argumentative

Is it distasteful to call the pilot of the plane that crashed into the Hudson a hack? When most crashes are investigated, the error is usually not mechanical, it is the pilot at fault.

Don't sell me the bird(s) in the engine theory. Bruce Willis put a big black guy through a jet engine in the second "Die Hard", and that plane took off with no mechanical trouble. It took a "Yippi Kai Yay Motherfucker" to put that jet to rest.

It is good, sorry...great that he was able to land the plane. That is until the contamination law suits start pouring in (it is not like he crashed in to Perrier Lake), but does that make him a hero?

If I was able to recover my car after sliding on black ice thus not ending up in a ditch, the other people in the car would give me a slap to face straight out of "Every Which Way But Loose" and declare in unison that I was a dumb ass or I'd hear, "you didn't see the ice?" It is certain that if the car ends up in the ditch, they'd do the same to me.

For me to walk out of an accident like that with praise: the car would have to roll a couple of time, end up right side up, and I'd have to be able to hit the gas and jerk the vehicle out of the way of oncoming traffic.

Isn't that all this incident was? He landed in a river instead of burning up in Central Park. To hell with investigating the incident, this lucky son of a bitch should have more brain trauma than the panicky chick in "Airplane".

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

It's FUBAR not FUBU

I could have just copied and pasted my review for "Slumdog Millionaire", but I'd rather save that in case the Illinois Central College newspaper doesn't print it. For entertainment sake, I'll wait to see if I get to destroy The Harbinger over their disrespect towards fine writing and Hindi actors.

The suggestion of mocking Aretha Franklyn's hat at the inauguration was interesting, but it almost seems redundant to state how most black fashion is closer to FUBAR than FUBU. Of course, in an effort to stay fair and balanced, I got to defend this statement.

At least white people stopped with Tie-Dye.  Honkees also care enough to pay for the licenses to pro sport teams.  Montages of city names in letter jacket patch format with sport balls just seems tacky.

For a Cubs fan, it is embarrassing to see the Afrocentric knock off gear. The Cubby Bear look-a-likes seem to have came straight out of Hanna Babbeara's Special Laffalympics.

Horrid fashion statement shows that I can restrain my violent urges. When I saw a guy with a Cubs away cap with a straight bill, size sticker on the top of the bill, and worn to the side, I was able to prevent myself from killing the guy.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Suicide would mean I'd bitch less

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Current mood: distraught

This started as my blog of "Why I'd like Peoria to be more like Detroit?" but from looking over the draft, I found a point where I go off course to be quite fitting for when it comes to my recent unfair, state of unemployment, and further realization of how hopeless I really am.

I wish I was suicidal so that, so my bitching may end.

The excuse for breathing right now: I made it to difficult to off myself. The regret of tattooing my wrist, so I can't slit em'. Pills never seem to work for my friends, and I don't dare dial any dealer numbers.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

A Possible Cause for My Lack of Intellectual Activity

Current mood: angsty

I've recently deprived my yearning to entertain the community. With the thoughts that I had a rekindled wrestling career proven false, what is the point of pursuing other creative outlets?

That sounds better than my not keeping up with my blogs because I don't want to make the trips to Target to refill my anti anxiety meds. Not because of the cost of the pills. But because they always have some kind of special on Pokemon cards or DVDs...or hair products. I just can't afford to allow myself to act out of impulse while on unemployment.

And the inability to act impulsively has sent my alcohol tolerance to great lows. It's a struggle knowing that I can no longer finish a fifth by 4 am, and still be ready to handle the pains of existence regardless of the hangover.

So I guess, I often find myself in the position of choosing between my identity and my sanity. All of this stems from being a slave to a conglomerate. So DOWN WITH TARGET.

Sadly, I have to retract that statement after opening the offer for $30 in gift cards. And where else can I go for reasonably priced meds? Is it a conspiracy between What-Ever-The-Fuck-Mart and the psychiatrists to keep us ill, or should I just take another Ativan and Trazadone cocktail and stop worrying?

Back to saving the steroid business

I got a lot of deadlines coming up. It almost seems like I an actual writer. But to make sure I'm not backed up on my goal to keep the employed and for those who do not want to deal with an article asking "Who are the best looking people on The Hill?" from going to an Illinois Central College campus to pick up the Harbinger.

Actually, do they place them at Downtown, South, or the North campuses? To be a college patriot, do you have to truly know all of your campuses? On that note, fuck Chief Illiniwek. I am sure UIC or UIS would gladly share their mascots.

Here is my call for respect of the great heroes of the negatively viewed steroid era. I'd put up my "Choke" movie review I wrote for the paper, but I like the sloppy version posted on the blog last October.

Are steroids really a big deal in
baseball?

Steroid users have been accused of quite a bit of cheating. They are accused of cheating out their fellow players by lessening demand for clean players, cheating the fans and the integrity of the game. But are these accusations fair or the lies of the bitter?

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

America Keeps...

Current mood: argumentative

Who to be pissed off at today? America's Got Talent? The "Circus Girls" act I caught as I was trying to set up my Wii Motion Plus left me a bit upset.
Are contortionists talented...yes, but if you were Vegas talented, you should be representing the US team in London in three years. It's called Rhythmic Gymnastics. What? You can't stay that flexible for another three years?

Hell, those girls are just messing up Title 9 for us guys. Illinois State University which I would rather have wasted my education than attend (it's tough enough considering reapplying at U of I since the straight A, wrestling team captain who made sure the Illini's eventual washout tackle passed computer programming was turned down), could reinstate their folk-style wrestling program if women would rather have an education than fame. From the perspective of those observing me over the past nine (going on 10) years, they'll tell you that the quest for fame and fortune just isn't a good move.

Especially when either a producer or the Hoff is going to encourage you to take short cuts to fame.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

America's got...

Current mood: pissed off
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

What America's got is me pissed off. I can't believe this is how I get my freedom to blog tonight. My older sister, who wouldn't watch American Idol when our cousin was in the top 12 is watching America's Got Talent.

I'm not trying to make myself look good or my older sister look bad. I didn't tune in to Idol when my cousin was on it. That was the third season, the one between Underwood and Studdard. The person who won, well I don't listen to crossover music I guess. As does everyone else since they can't remember him when I tell them my cousin "was the kid who looked like Conan."

That in itself is something America's got me pissed off about. William Hung fever wears off, so damn those who worked their ass off to be sell outs to that exploitative limey son of a bitch. I did at least listened to John Stevens album of covers. Dare I say I'm an ideal American for supporting a family member that I hadn't spoken to...probably ever.


Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.
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