A Hypothetical Interview w/Vince McMahon

I will like to take this as a chance to promote my new website Harshside.com, otherwise this is my way of typing up homework without at Affina blocking my communications with my home computer.

I figure this may interest a few of my wrestling friends, so feel free to read.

It is my pleasure to welcome WWE Chairman of the Board of Directors, Vince McMahon, who is just a week removed from the annual "Super Bowl" of wrestling, Wrestlemania 26. At the event, he met the challege of Hall of Famer, Bret "Hitman" Hart, and to say the least, the results were not what he desired.

1) How are you doing after the relentless beatdown you suffered at Wrestlemania?
a) This was not your first battle with a younger combatant, but why was this defeat so one sided when other matches you've been involved with featured your opponents needing to use ladders, chairs and other foreign objects to defeat you?
b) Throughout your 13 year feud with the Hitman, your trademark quote was "Bret Screwed Bret." After your match last Sunday, do you believe you've been "screwed"?

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and feel free to inquire about getting a copy of my Zombie-Comedy, Pro-Wrestling script.

War Criminals vs. Pedophiles

So...the editors at the Harbinger, Illinois Central College's newspaper, expects their contributing clolumnist to walk by their office that is two stories above the only class he's attending this semester. It's funny because he's only had to enter the office once in his three semesters of contributing.

Enough of this 3rd Person bullocks, makes me feel like those right wing twats who were offended at my "Destroy Popular Culture, Rebuild, Repeat" shirt...at a strip club. Did one of the girls pay them off just, so I'd plead for one of them to take me back for a dance?

The editor had told me, if they could pay me for my reviews and my opinion pieces, they would. Personally, I like not having the hastles of showing up to meetings, and if that cost me a few bucks, that no big deal. All I expect is an e-mail telling me when I have to get my shit finished.

Maybe it just slipped their mind, maybe the A&E editor saw a flick and wants my space, or the editor-in-chief didn't like Ghosting my last opinion piece. Whatever the reason, I feel a little put out by a newspaper that hardly updates its website.

Yes, I guess I maybe taking the inevitable "sorry, we were so busy e-mail" to hard, but I have an ego, and when I don't do too many things well, failing to get published hurts.

After receiving the e-mail, it was a reality check. The staff simply had college things to do, the stuff that will further careers. Writing for a college newspaper is kind of a secondary thing in comparison. Like it or not, that is pretty accurate.

C'est la vie, I guess. With a Polanski movie review, that seems appropriate. As long as my works weren't published for making an observation about pedophilia in this critique, everything will work out fine. I bought a domain for a reason right?

Check out the review at my new website Harshside.com - Satire, Movies, and Anarchy

Super Pets, Adultery, and Capitalism: Pick the Good one

So, I finally have a short little satirical bit that doesn't need much development. Writing opinion pieces for the Harbinger (http://iccharbinger.com) and figuring out how to tone them down in terms of cynicism may have hindered my ridiculous nature.

If adultery, Facebook apps, and corporate America doesn't get me back on track this year, what will.

Yes, I use Zoosk, the flirtation app. It only made sense because besides for classmates, what dude do I want to know who haven't written a classic motion picture? If you're not auctioning something on E-Bay or you don't have a Super Pet, I will not let you turn my profile into a sausage-fest.

I'm aware of the sexual hypocrisy. Straight dude's can't cute apps, whey they can play glorified MUDS with trendy topics. This isn't really about being straight or queer, it's just an unwillingness to be imaginative by the only demographic that matters. Show a little bit of creativity, and they lump you with Oscar Wilde or Aaron Schock.

That is probably why the application let you purchase clothing for your fur-ball that no queer would where. To make sure they can broaden their audience and find a sure fire way to make extra money using corporate sponsorship. If using an app that lets you socialize with lonely girls wasn't reason enough to get a virtual hopping cactus?

Also makes me wonder why Zoosk doesn't have a corporate sponsors. You can buy gifts for those you are flirting with. For one dollar you can send a girl a virtual love note. So??? Isn't it more romantic to say, "I can't buy you a Prada bag, but I definitely would if I could afford to?"

Super Pets can be dressed up in NBA, Snoop or Paris Hilton clothes. Not to say I want a Hilton tie in to this site, but does Commercial America dare not delve into flirting?

Judging how Tiger Woods is being treated, I guess not.

Check out the rest of this blog at "Main Event of the Dead.com and let me know if my satire and movie knowledge should produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie movie.

Why are Chicago Sports Fans Restricted to Hoping?

It isn't the complete and elegantly cleaned up ICC newspaper version of my story, but since it is still relevant, and needs a larger audience (read Heather McGraw's Holiday article at http://iccharbinger.com as support for this statement) I'm posting it here.

In the past Harbinger issue, an opinion peace was printed about how sad a year it was for baseball in the Windy City. This piece may have been a prime example of why Chicago franchise fans are considered losers because nothing happened that was worth crying about.

The White Sox? Did anyone believe they were going to the playoffs before the season began? It was the Minnesota Twins and the Cleveland Indians who were predicted to win the American League Central by most of Sports Illustrated’s writers, and the prior season saw them go to a one game playoff for the Central Division championship. Southside fans should be proud that they at least got to see their pitcher Mark Buehrle throw a perfect game. The Pale Hose had a reason for all of baseball to pay attention to them beside the obscenity laced rants of their crazed manager Ozzie Guillen. Should that not be considered an accomplishment, to make people regret not spending a day at the wretched “Cell”?

Read the conclusion of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and tell me if my opinionated nature can carry over into Pro-Wrestling and Zombie B-Movies. 

Hope = Death, a bleak observation

The problem with last night's blog was that it was too repetitive. A struggle to figure out what more can be said about how shitty my existence is. After plenty of calling God a sadistic bastard and thoughts to Frank Miller's "Sin City," I think I may have received a divine answer.

It doesn't get that douche bag Iehova off the shit list, but it is a lesson that I think all should learn and the sooner the better.

Check out this blog at http://headtrip309.blogspot.com

Your beautiful and your god is an asshole

I am confused where to post this blog. Should be on this blog because I am attacking the fabric of the most hypocritical of society? Or should be on http://rohmobile.com because despite the flaws that almost make it as bad as "Pirate Radio," watching "Persepolis" fuels my discontent with the big guy.

Well I decided to post it on http://headtrip309.blogspot.com

Please check it out.

suck my left one...A Tribute to Teen Spirit

Finally a blog where I get to announce that
GREEN DAY AFTER INTERNATIONAL SUPER HITS SUCK!!!

Does anyone really see me making friends at a call center? Everyone who doesn't understand that the cog in the in a functioning machine doesn't get to tell the operator shit just seem to sensitive. The training class turned on me for being a true Cubs fan (which demands an abandonment of the Southside) and being a gentlemen.

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and determine if I am capable of writing/producing a no budget zombie/pro-wrestling movie.

Backseat Pussypires and Weretwats!

It is a somewhat difficult dilemma for me to critique ICC's Harbinger since they have been very accommodating to my works as the semester has gone on. If anything, it has been a great improvement over the first semester I wrote for them (Spring 2009). They now have an editor-in-chief with vision instead of one who was as much about her own promotion as she was about filling the eight pages with material, and the staff will go to the trouble of making sure everything works out for each publication.

Of course, I may just be miffed at my last couple opinion pieces being cut in half in the name of "The Battle of the Ink." In turn, I am down right pissed that my defense of New Mexico soccer standout Elizabeth Lambert questionable ply takes a backseat to a story about "Twilight."

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventOfTheDead.com and be the judge if my satire and criticism can be translated into a B-Movie comedy about Pro-Wrestling Zombies.

Caucasia, it isn't a country and it people can't be proud of it.

I received this bulletin a few days ago (I haven't checked my MySpace in a while), and was pretty offended by it's rant about how whites have a right to be racist.

Here's a sample:

- You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

- You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and even "The Man" and you think it's OK.

- But when I call you, "nigger", "Kike", "Towelhead", "Sand-nigger", "Camel Jockey", "Beaner" or "Chink" you call me a racist.

If you actually take these terms to heart, what the fuck is wrong with you? Overly sensitive assholes.

The fact of the matter is, no one should be calling any race by any term that they find offensive. Actually, if I call you something that really offends you (and it's not true, that's why I'll never back down from calling Alex Larson, NGW's promoter, a cowardly, lying asshole), tell me to never call you it again.

Read the rest of this blog and what is the inspiration behind my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead at MainEventoftheDead.com

A Middle Finger to Facebook

The impact of Google and Facebook make mass communication convenient, but I think leads to conformity and alienation.

Read the rest of this blog at MainEventoftheDead.com and determine if I am capable of writing/producing a no budget zombie/pro-wrestling movie.

Check out the ICCharbinger.com instead of PJstar.com

Because I get most my job hits on peoriahelpwanted.com anyway.

I can no longer save you the trip to ICC with my opinion pieces and movie reviews that get printed there. A bummer, because sometimes I feel it's easier to fulfill my, "well I at least blogged today" goal each day by cutting and pasting the original Word documents. With some of my movie reviews being poorly edited, I kind of took pride in "Save you a trip to a hill" movie reviews on Russ's Online Home - ROHmobile.com, but when I see that only three people have voted on the latest web poll at iccharbinger.com it leads me to believe that there is a need to promote the paper.

Read the rest of this blogs and most of my other blogs at MainEventoftheDead.com and see if this brain can write a B-Movie worth filming.

Dog Fighting for Early Childhood

Rose McGowan, who should be thanking me for getting her more followers (if 34,426 wasn't enough) was tweeting about hearing about an Illinois dog fighting ring that was being ran out of a day care center. It's great to know the Charmed girls are great information sources. @russthebus replied:

@rosemcgowan It was not a dogfighting ring. What happens when two kids in daycare argue about whose puppy for show and tell is coolest?5:26 PM Sep 23rd from web

With the state government cutting funding to early childhood programs, I wonder if this is truly a bad idea.

If we go along with the premise of the tweet, that it starts with two kids bringing in two dogs into class for show and tell, wouldn't we put the two dogs at it to just shut the kids up. It would get them prepared for the traumatic experiences they will face growing up. Who knows? I may have been better prepared for when I failed to save a man who set himself on fire if I saw something sick and twisted to begin with.

The world is unfairly cruel. Kids do not want to hear sad stories, so they are sheltered from the truth that bad stuff happens. This will teach them the lesson when their guard is down.

Check out the rest of this blog at "Main Event of the Dead.com and let me know if my satire and movie knowledge should produce a Pro-Wrestling Zombie movie.

In other news:

Nitro Expected To Win Westminster Dog Fight